From the moment we are born to the day we die we are constantly being evaluated and judged by others and ourselves. In fact, one of your first experiences in life may have been a test! The APGAR test has been used for over 50 years to assess the functioning of newborns in the first minutes after birth. Of course, this is only the beginning of lifelong evaluations...
As infants our parents pay close attention to when we first roll over, when we say our first words, the age of our first steps and countless other milestones. As children we learn very quickly that if we want the approval of others we need to love up to certain standards - school grades being the most obvious example. As adults our career advancement (or lack of) is largely controlled by our performance on the job and the appraisals of others.
In most cases there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make others proud of us and setting challenging goals for ourselves. However, perfectionism differs from the healthy desire to achieve high standards. For someone with this difficulty, anything short of perfection is completely unacceptable. The standards of a perfectionist are set unrealistically high and there is a compulsive need to strive toward impossible goals.
Areas Prone to Perfectionism
Work performance
School achievement
Cleaning and neatness
Organization and list making
Written work
Speaking and articulation
Physical appearance
Health, exercise, and athletic competition
Possible Negative Consequences of Perfectionism
Strained personal relationships with family and friends
Disappointing school performance
Reduced ability to enjoy work
Difficulty enjoying leisure and recreational activities
Depression and excessive self-criticism
Anger
Performance anxiety
Social anxiety
Obsessive-compulsive behavior
Eating disorders and body image problems
Difficulty trusting and depending on others
Therapy for Perfectionism
The specific course of therapy and the types of interventions used will depend on both the individual and the nature of the perfectionistic tendencies. Common interventions include:
Assessing and evaluating perfectionistic tendencies through the use of a daily log
Identifying perfectionism triggers
Identifying and challenging automatic thoughts and cognitive distortions (e.g., all or nothing thinking, mind reading, probability over-estimations, etc.)
Reviewing the costs and benefits of more relaxed standards of self-evaluation
Reevaluating standards and setting specific, realistic, and attainable goals
Creating an exposure hierarchy and slowly breaking behaviors which maintain perfectionistic thoughts
Enlisting others to provide support and encouragement for change
If you or someone you know would like to receive help for dealing with perfectionism (and live in the Halifax area) please feel free to contact me to set up an initial consultation.
From the moment we are born to the day we die we are constantly being evaluated and judged by others and ourselves. In fact, one of your first experiences in life may have been a test! The APGAR test has been used for over 50 years to assess the functioning of newborns in the first minutes after birth. Of course, this is only the beginning of lifelong evaluations...