From the moment we are born to the day we die we are constantly being evaluated and sometimes judged by others and ourselves. In fact, one of your first experiences in life may have been a test! The APGAR test has been used for over 70 years to assess the functioning of newborns in the first minutes after birth.
Of course, this is only the beginning of lifelong evaluations...
Of course, this is only the beginning of lifelong evaluations...
There is nothing wrong with having high standards, but...
As infants our parents pay close attention to when we first roll over, when we say our first words, the age of our first steps and countless other milestones. As children we learn very quickly that if we want the approval of others we need to live up to certain standards - school grades being the most obvious example. |
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As adults our career advancement (or lack of) is largely controlled by our performance on the job and the appraisals of others.
In most cases there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make others proud of us and setting challenging goals for ourselves.
However, perfectionism differs from the healthy desire to achieve high standards. For someone with this difficulty, anything short of perfection is completely unacceptable. The standards of someone with perfectionism are set unrealistically high and there is a compulsive need to strive toward impossible goals.
Needless to say, constantly setting impossible goals for ourselves can often lead to disappointment, low self esteem, unnecessary stress, relationship difficulties, depression, procrastination, and many other difficulties.
What areas are prone to perfectionism?
● Work performance
● School achievement
● Cleaning and neatness
● Organization and list making
● Written work
● Speaking and articulation
● Physical appearance
● Health, exercise, and athletic competition
What are the negative consequences of perfectionism?
● Strained personal relationships with family and friends
● Disappointing school performance
● Reduced ability to enjoy work
● Difficulty enjoying leisure and recreational activities
● Depression and excessive self-criticism
● Anger
● Performance anxiety
● Shyness and social anxiety
● Obsessive-compulsive behaviours
● Eating disorders and body image problems
● Difficulty trusting and depending on others
How does counselling help perfectionism?
The specific course of therapy and the types of interventions used will depend on both the individual and the nature of the perfectionistic tendencies.
However, common interventions include:
● Assessing and evaluating perfectionistic tendencies through the use of a daily log
● Identifying perfectionism triggers
● Identifying and challenging automatic thoughts and cognitive distortions (e.g., all or nothing thinking, mind reading, probability over-estimations, etc.)
● Enlisting others to provide support and encouragement for change
● Reviewing the costs and benefits of more relaxed standards of self-evaluation
● Re-evaluating standards and setting specific, realistic, and attainable goals
● Creating an exposure hierarchy and slowly breaking behaviours which maintain perfectionistic thoughts
How can I get started?
If you would like to receive help for perfectionism (and live in the areas of Halifax, Bedford, Dartmouth, or anywhere in Nova Scotia) please read more about therapy and counselling, my treatment approach, and feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you would like to set up an initial consultation.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Copyright © 2024
Dr. Brent Conrad, Halifax Psychologist. All rights reserved.
1526 Dresden Row, Suite 602, Halifax, Nova Scotia, B3J 3K3
www.HalifaxPsychologist.com
Dr. Brent Conrad, Halifax Psychologist. All rights reserved.
1526 Dresden Row, Suite 602, Halifax, Nova Scotia, B3J 3K3
www.HalifaxPsychologist.com